Originally published 100723

What is Real?

My guiding question evolved in the mid-80s when I encountered a feedback loop that delivered an astonishing number of connections.

Synchronicity on steroids.

A layer of communication hidden in plain sight.

WTF is going on?

In researching the experience, I kept running across references to mental disorders.

Disconcerting, to say the least.

More recently, this dialogue roused some vivid memories:

Have you ever heard of something called apophenia?

No, what’s that?

It’s the finding of pattern or meaning where other people don’t. Sometimes people with this condition get feelings of revelation or ecstasies. Sometimes people find patterns or meaning where there aren’t any.

Hm. What does that have to do with me?

Creativity and psychosis often go hand in hand. Or, for that matter, genius and madness.
— Queen’s Gambit / Episode 3 (15:40)

As long as I can remember, I’ve been aware of things that just happened to happen in particular ways, but never at this frequency.

I decided to follow, so long as the breadcrumbs didn’t veer into darkness.

There was no way I’d allow myself to become a danger to others.

Contact lost within this space, where filtered light grows dim
Clarity falls up not down, when outside looking in
Some will search for ways to hold, fate’s hand a length away
Thinking armed with tooth to claw, at wisdom’s slow decay
Sow confusion to behold, no forest, only leaves
Spinning yarns of trusting souls, poor fools too blind to flee

Months became years, and my fragile work-life balance unraveled as I followed the trail.

Just before impact, Susan called and asked if I would drive the rental truck up north (024).

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Context: I’ve developed a much healthier relationship with that layer of communication. (At this point, denial would be delusional.)

Featured Image: As previously mentioned (023), Christopher coded Structure. I used his app to create the geometry, then used Illustrator and Photoshop to breathe life into my version.

Fun Fact: Structure also generated the geometry (below) that led to the mark I’m using for Meanderings.

Different settings, different outcomes. Then season to taste. (Kinda like life.)

Yum!

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