Originally published 100823

After that last one, I feel like I owe you something.

Uncomfortably Numb (1996)

Last year, in a fine art seminar at San Jose State, we were asked to write a fairly lengthy paper on personal sources of inspiration. The following excerpt from my response seems especially relevant to our opening theme.

Imagery appears to me “out of the blue” on a daily basis, but the full-blown visionary experience is a much rarer phenomenon. I do not have tangible evidence of how long these “visions” last, but I suspect they are very brief. The imagery conveys meaning without words. It’s a kind of direct knowledge. Or, it’s just my imagination.

You be the judge.

A vast plane extends as far as the eye can see. Countless waveforms rise and fall above and below the plane’s surface. As their amplitudes modulate, their colors shift. Most of the waveforms seldom stray far from the surface of the plane. They blend into a field of static. A few reach out beyond the boundaries established by the many. As each does, another line streaks inward (from outside the plane), becomes a similarly shaped waveform, and attempts to resonate with its newly selected partner.

The dance of the waveforms continues. Some react to the stimuli by reaching further from the surface. Some do not react, unaware of any outside influence, and others immediately drop to the perceived safety of the static field. Other inwardly streaking lines continually fall into the static field, occasionally coaxing an unsuspecting waveform out of the static and into the syncopated rhythm of life.

This is a crude approximation of one way [something] interacts with our world. Each waveform is an individual. Many individuals become virtually indistinguishable as daily struggles slowly grind their hopes and dreams to dust. Those who find ways to persist reach farther from the plane’s surface. The inwardly streaking lines are manipulations of our external circumstances, resulting in a curious phenomenon I’ve previously identified as synchronicity. These synchronicities are designed to inspire greater interest in the circumstances of our lives, to arouse and intensify curiosity, and to reestablish contact.

We may have been cut off from direct, unpolluted contact, but [something] has yet to lose contact with us. Coincidence is one of the languages of [something].

I find myself sitting at my drawing board. I have no way of knowing how long the experience lasted. The sensation I’m experiencing is consistent with other visions and moments of “knowing.” A tingling that seems to begin at the top of my head is rippling through my body. I’ve long associated this electric sensation with confirmation. A November 10, 1981, journal entry is typical of many others:

If I can hold on to my trust and believe the feeling of truth that engulfs me when understanding occurs, a door will open.

This is a fair representation of the “visionary” experience from my perspective. Was it inspired or just a figment of my imagination? Imagination is a powerful force. Are we the progenitors of imagination, or simply its progeny?

Homonym or homophone, whys seek reconditions
Simile’s analogous, like hows of new reflections
Paradox parks parallel, meter coined neglections
Parabolic apologue, compliments complexions
Metaphoric metaphors, jumping to convictions
Coat of many clashing colors, fashions sense in questions

---

Context: Three issues of Uncomfortably Numb (The Interactive Newsletter You Never Asked For) were written, printed, and mailed to Gary, John, and George (011) after completing my BFA. Inexplicably, the need to write pushed studio art aside.

Tangible Evidence: A few years later, a different “vision” happened with Noël in the backpack, between one step and the next, at the corner of Mt. Diablo and Broadway in Walnut Creek. Very brief indeed.

Fun Fact: Your [something] need not be a deity. I like to think of it as an integral part of our biosphere. A natural process. A positive-sum game, set up for us to play.

Spoiler: Calling these moments of clarity “visions” will lead to confusion when I start talking about, um, visions in 047. (Yeah, I know.)

Featured Image: Still true.

---